Man In The Mirror
- Zach Rhodes
- Mar 26, 2023
- 2 min read
For the last 3-1/2 years I’ve been in one of the longest, hardest, and sometimes most abusive relationships I’ve ever been in.
It’s not the typical relationship you might have in mind, or the ones you see plastered all over social media, it is that of the relationship I have with myself.
I used to find myself getting into one failed relationship after another with no time in between to ever develop a healthy relationship with myself, first and foremost. I wasn’t ready to face the man in the mirror looking back at me.
If you ever want to discover what truly drives you, your greatest fears, and your biggest flaws just spend some time alone. Nothing but you and the voice inside, your deepest darkest thoughts. It’s absolutely terrifying.
No wonder I rushed from one relationship to the next, often indulging in social media and destructive vices. It distracted me from the demons hiding within and the real work that needed to be done. The hardest most fulfilling work.
There are mornings I wake up and absolutely hate the man in the mirror staring back at me, I question his character and his actions. I wouldn’t talk to a friend or a girlfriend the way I talk to myself sometimes. Then there are some mornings when I’m incredibly proud of the man staring back at me.
It’s an immense battle sometimes daily between self love and the emotional and mental abuse I put myself through. The emotional wounds and scars I bare, all inflicted upon myself by nobody but me.
How on earth could I ever expect to love a wife or girlfriend fully and unconditionally, if the love I show myself is conditional and fleeting at best?
Though it’s a long and difficult journey, I’ve grown immensely through it all. Every morning I wake up, the man in the mirror is a little more proud, a little more forgiving, and a little more loving. The hole in my heart, that relentlessly sought out and robbed the energy and love from others to feel whole. Is a hell of lot fuller from the love that’s always been hiding within.
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